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Well, not so oddly, it is wholly consistent with the general idiocy that is prevalent thanks again to the DOC.

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Nonetheless, the cage is most excellent for some lively full court prison hoop, some pull-ups at the two workout stations, and mostly just for getting outside — again. However, getting in there is more than half the battle as there is all too often a wait for the weights. It can take months….. I also just might sign up for photography just so again I can get outside.

Nothing more. As mentioned, the Chow Hall is incredibly unappealing in general.

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It is offensively disgusting in most every respect. It is a horribly smelling room with masticated bits of food liberally spread all over the place, and its inhabitants resemble Neanderthals without teeth, but with tattoos. And the grub is extremely unappetizing in specific.

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Or how about the overcooked but cold cheeseburgers that you need to heat up by placing them on your pile of imitation corn? Yow mean? Does it get any better than that? God, I hope so! I will get my hands on a number of classics from the masters, as well as some Jack Reacher trash. I will read my USA cover-to-cover, and then I will read it some more.

I will read in my spare time, and I will read to make the time pass that time much of the time. I will absorb new knowledge, and I will also keep a dictionary handy in order to maintain a comprehensive lexicon of words I would otherwise not use unless I am inclined to perplex one with a prolific preponderance of pedantic polysyllabic gibberish so I can seem like more of a pontificating asshole than I already am.

If you want to receive mail, you need to write letters. If you want to improve your communicative skills you ought practice them. I will hone my mental acuity at every turn. Amidst all this pressure, persecution, subjugation, and nonsense I require a reprieve and welcome the calming influence, and resolve it provides.

This can be tough for all sorts of reasons, and I will name only three: 1- I am not alone in that I have to climb down from and back up my upper bunk a couple of times each night to take a piss. All of my problems become magnified tenfold and seem much more drastic than when I am busy surviving the daylight hours. Sometimes it is so loud it pulls me out of a deep sleep, slowly at first. How ironic. But if I can expect to get through the night fairly unabated when my head touches the pillow, then it becomes a fait accompli that I have logged another 24 hours into the books, and another day in prison hell has passed.

Personally, I would have to sleep on that! Ok, I will try not to get too depressed too often. Ok, let me try that again. I will try not to get too depressed so often that my resulting anger will get the better of me. Ok, last chance saloon……When my anger invariably gets the best of me, I will not let THEM see that they are getting the better of me.

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Do not, under any circumstances, let them see that they may be winning. You gotta believe, and you gotta believe in yourself……. I will definitely not partake in the late night prison ritual of eating troughfuls of rice topped with re-fried beans, pepperoni, sausage, still more rice, some squeeze cheese and some sort of nondescript gelatinous sludge all wrapped up in this potato chip burrito concoction. I will not watch a lot of TV.


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There is a reason Mom called it the idiot box. And there is a reason that the guy in charge of the TV is an idiot! That also means I will not have to subject myself to one more Price is Right, or even have to sit through another show of Jerry Springer, unless of course there is an all-out stripper babe brawl. And thankfully it also means that I will not watch even one more of those incredibly lame court TV shows. Sometimes being a bit cavalier in jail is a good thing.

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I fear I would find myself spending way too many hours subject to a brain drain and not honing my wits. If I were meant to veg-out all day like some apoplectic zombie I might as well go back to County, where one is more than welcome to just lie in bed all day. There are no secrets in jail! Take more comfort if you are an OG because then he will do double time.

In summary, my imprisonment was one of the most difficult times I have ever had to face — no surprise there. I was violently thrown into a miasma of deep despair, and my survival dependent upon a plan of action that required both a lot of common sense as well as a herculean amount of patience. I was forcibly removed from all that I loved and enjoyed, ostracized from everything and everyone I knew and I both cherished and taken for granted, and on top of that I was meant to be penalized in a veritable myriad of ways and manners.

But presumably I was also supposed to be rehabilitated so when I eventually left I would be a new and improved me. Better stick to his day job handing out penance while boring me to death.

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In any event my survival rate and preparation for success was dependent on 3 basic premises:. Easier said then done…..

So, I came to the conclusion that I simply needed to occupy myself with productive activities. And that exactly became the nexus of plan A. Why would I do that? What this really means to me is one more day closer to leaving this hell hole, and one day closer to home! In the meantime what I was able to do was a lot more than just biding my time.

Any similarities or otherwise uncanny representations may or may not be exactly that. Had they been a true and sincere recounting of various sordid occurrences under otherwise inauspicious circumstances you would have been instructed to proceed to the nearest hash den and emporium for a more lucid contemplation of these analogous hyperboles.

Ya Heard?!! Your email address will not be published. Sign me up for the newsletter. Leave this field empty. We used our years of experience as preppers, survival instructors, and authors to curate the best books for you. Useful for families. Great gift to non-preppers. Covers how to shelter in place in a variety of situations. Just in Case covers how to shelter in place under a wide variety of circumstances and how to prepare and decide to bug out if you need to.

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